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Natural Selection

I'm back in tranquil Formentera now after my visit to the madness of Mallorca. It seemed to be much more hectic than when I had the boat there a couple of years ago - more people, fatter tourists, and much more stressful than Ibiza. It was good to see Chris though. He had his boat broken into in Portocolom during the winter, apparently by someone from another boat as lots of things, including his sails, were stolen. But apart from that he seems to be doing pretty well and has spent most of the last years sailing around with the drug dealers and arms smugglers of Central America.

There wasn't much to do in Porto Cristo so we started drinking too early, and, naturally, went on to drink too much. I don't remember getting back to the boat. The next day I woke up suffering one of Satan's own hangovers. I spent the day in Palma, which I had missed as it's a lovely city, but the hoardes of tourists everywhere combined with the beggars (some allegedly now coming down from Germany) and my hangover made me wish I was back on the beach in Formentera.

There's only one ferry a day between the islands and they run at the strangest of times. The one from Ibiza gets into Palma so late at night that it's impossible to rent a car, and the return trip to Ibiza leaves about 0700 in the morning. Chris kindly got up very early and drove me into Palma so that I could catch it, though even at that time the roads in Mallorca were busy as the Germans rushed to get the best places on the beach.

I squeezed onto the ferry through all the pushing and shoving critically stressed tourists, found a seat, and tried to get some sleep. A deaf old woman sat behind me and shouted incessantly to her friend the entire way to Ibiza, her companion never managing to get a word in, whilst I tried to drown out her drones listening to my ipod.

In yet another example of the world bending to accommodate stupid people rather than allowing natural selection, you're no longer able to go out on deck in case you fall over the side. The sea was totally calm but even still all the exterior doors were locked while the ship was at sea, forcing everyone to mill around endlessly inside fighting for window space - all so that the occasional idiot doesn't go for a swim! Personally, I think it's time to get rid of regulations like that - get rid of the safety fences springing up on top of cliffs and the barriers on street corners to stop stupid people from running out and killing themselves everywhere. Life is supposed to have risks, not be governed by some nanny society that tells us all what is and isn't safe to do.

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