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Estonian Charms

I caught the late flight down to Stansted last night and made myself as comfortable as I could there, wondering what I was doing sleeping in the corner of an airport when I should have been in the bosom of a nice, warm pub in Glasgow. I had to check in for a sleazyjet flight to Estonia at 05:30, however, so I had no other choice.

After a while I managed to sleep in 30 minute intervals, punctuated by something or other wakening me up, until finally my alarm went off just as it felt like I'd finally settled down for the night. I checked in and boarded the flight, hoping to get some sleep - which of course didn't happen. My natural talent for attracting screaming kids ensured that there was one sitting directly behind me, kicking and punching my seat as penance for my sins for the entire two and a half hour flight.

Estonians seem to appreciate a drink for breakfast. When the cabin crew came around with the tea and coffee trolley just after seven o'clock, the woman on my right ordered a whiskey while the guy in front of her opened his bottle of spirits and continued to down it until he was so pissed that the stewards finally came over and threatened to take it away from him.

We touched down in Tallinn, which was white with snow, and I set off to find the guesthouse I'd booked. There then followed a two hour scenario of me sitting on all of Tallinn's trams, going around the entire town in circles, looking for the fictional tram stop for the guesthouse, which being fictional, didn't exist. I attempted to ask a couple of people for directions but they pleasantly responded with 'Fuck off' looks and left. Eventually, after stumbling across a crazy guy wrapped in a torn polythene sheet, I wandered around through the snow and ice until, almost by accident, I found the street I was looking for.

Decided not to leave guesthouse due to possibility of never managing to return in my exhausted state.

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