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Fear of the Toilet

outside toilet
Probably the toughest thing about staying in Chris's house is the fact that it only has an outside toilet. It wouldn't be so bad in the summer but right now when it's sub-zero and there's snow on the ground you don't really feel like using it, especially in the middle of the night. It's in a timber outhouse at the bottom of the garden that also doubles as the woodshed and there's no heating or light in there so the entire process becomes something of an endurance test.

After trying to put the ordeal off for as long as is humanly possible you finally end up making a desperate dash across the garden to the shed, then sitting there freezing in the dark, listening for bears coming out of the forest. Then, before you lose all sense of feeling in your legs from the cold, you get things over as quickly as possible before making another mad sprint back to the warmth of the house where you spend the following twenty minutes standing against the wood-burning stove to thaw out.

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