The other day my satanically possessed SonyEricsson P800 mysteriously disappeared from my jacket pocket. So today, feeling like the freed ancient mariner, I went off to Helsinki to look for a replacement. The problem is that, being here in NokiaLand, everyone you pass seems to be a Nokia employee taking great pride in flashing their unreleased prototype Star Trek phones as they walk through department stores while I'm standing looking at something straight out of Space 1999.